My kids are gone tonight, staying with their grandpa while he spoils them rotten and gives me a break. You know what that means? I’m free! And I had a decision to make about how I would spend this precious kid free night. Maybe go out on a date. Maybe gather some friends and go dancing. Maybe catch a flick or grab some coffee. Maybe catch up with one of my friends that I never seem to have enough time for…. But when it came down to it, there was only one thing I wanted to do on my kid free night.

Stay home and clean.

Oh, I know, it might seem a waste to stay home and clean when I could be going out and living it up. But stepping over Christmas presents and boxes and seeing that tree that we put up a month and a half ago, I had to get it all straightened up. When the kids are here they seem to mess everything up faster than I can clean it, and this was a great opportunity to get a head start on them. So when I came home from work, I turned on the radio, got a load of wash in, and set about putting away all the Christmas decorations and the tree. Then I vacuumed the living room, moved the furniture, did more laundry, and cleaned the kitchen and dining room. Of course the upstairs is a different story, and will be cleaned on a different day. But now I can actually let people into my house again (I have one friend who always seems to stop by when the house has just been ransacked by the kids. I’m usually very neat here, but he must think I’m the messiest person on the planet!).

The truth is it was easy to make the decision to clean. One of my friends, who is also a single mom, devised a plan with me. As a result we have deemed ourselves ingenious. We came up with the Single Mother’s Babysitting Swap. Once a week I take her toddler daughter and watch her overnight so that she can have a night to herself to do whatever she wants, even if it’s just to sit around and do nothing. But it’s doing nothing without 2 year old temper tantrums. She reciprocates by watching my two kids overnight so that I can do the same. Sometimes I go out, sometimes I stay home. But it makes me a lot more rested and a much better mom to my kids because I do get to have a life and be their mom at the same time. Before that, I felt like I was going to tear my hair out as I couldn’t afford a babysitter for a moment of peace, and never got a moment to go do adult things without begging my parents to baby-sit, er, spend time with their grandkids.

A babysitting swap is a necessity for single parents. There are so many single parents out there raising their kids on their own that it isn’t hard to find someone who will trade babysitting willingly. It has become so convenient for me that staying home when the kids are gone no longer feels like a lost opportunity to enjoy myself. I know I can go out the next week if I want, or the week after that. Or I can just stay home and enjoy my empty house as it stays clean for a night with no kids running around who always want to watch TV when all I want to do is kick back and listen to music uninterrupted. And because of the weekly break, I even skip some of these overnights so that I can spend my free time with my kids instead. Having a weekly night off allows me the opportunity to actually miss them. But not tonight. Tonight I think I really like my clean and quiet house.

If you promise to clean up your mess, you can email me at winecountrymom@winecountrymom.com.