The headlines in the paper are about the economic pinch. And boy, am I feeling it. This week I was without milk for 4 days. My kids are addicted to cereal, too. This sacrifice hurt them the most as we went through the breakfast battle every morning. I realized that I needed to break down when my son, the bottomless stomach, was now insisting that he didn’t want to eat breakfast. I was just trying to put off buying the only thing that costs more per gallon than gas.

Speaking of gas……. WTF? When I moved across town last year, I made the decision to keep my kids in their same school. It’s one of the best public schools in the area, and I didn’t want to tear them away from all their friends. After school, my son stays at school in daycare, but my daughter goes even farther away to my parents’ house in the country. 3 days after filling up, my gas tank is half empty. In another 3 days I will get to go and spend $80 to fill it up again. And so goes the cycle.

They say that assistance with food (aka, food stamps) is on the rise here in the county. But the amount you must be making is ridiculous. A family like mine that consists of two kids and one parent must be making less than $1,861. And that will qualify you for about $100 or less per month. Factor in rent, daycare, utilities, and non-food items, not to mention gas and other car related expenses and you will find that $1,861 is not a lot of money to support a family of three on, and $100 definitely will not get you anything significant. The amount for cash aid is even less, significantly less. It’s almost embarrassing what the state considers poverty. Meanwhile there are people out there losing their homes because of forced layoffs, the rise in food costs, the failing economy, life……

Money sucks. I’m tired of it. Oh, I’d love to have more, but I’m tired of no matter how much money I make, the more I am required to pay out. I feel like I am starving about the 10th day of my paycheck, waiting for day #14. And the process starts all over again as the bills suck me dry. And just when I think that there’s a little extra money to tuck away there’s a birthday party to buy a present for, my kids brings only one shoe back from the beach (true story), lost and found eats my kids’ sweatshirts, rent is being raised, an event requires my paid attendance…… Meanwhile, my toilet paper runs as low as my bank account, the laundry detergent runs out, dinner is canned something or other.

Now, I’ve lived poor, much poorer than this. So my whining is just that, whining. But it’s hard to see over the mountain when the mountain keeps growing. And when I read things about the economic pinch everyone is feeling, how I am not alone in this, it leaves me with a bitter taste in my mouth. If people in the middle class are suffering, what hope does that leave for me? When I find out that the income I am making now is nothing when I originally thought it was something, when my daughter who goes to college in 8 years doesn’t have many options open for her, when I am doomed to drive a gas guzzling van because I cannot afford to buy a smaller more economic car… When I have an appointment next week to see if I still qualify for my housing, knowing that I may very well be making over the set amount but can not possibly afford to pay what is called “regular” rent, that mountain just keeps getting bigger.

Guess it’s time to get my hiking boots out.

Email me at winecountrymom@winecountrymom.com