Today’s been a hell of a day. Today’s my son’s 7th birthday. And you know what I did for him? I forgot to pack him a lunch ticket for hot lunch. Not only was I rushing to get the kids off for school, I was rushing to get to court for another custody hearing in what’s been a long and complicated ordeal. So as I’m preparing for a court date that is focused on the well-being of my kids, I completely forgot to make sure that my kid was fed. I guess I forgot that food is probably in my son’s best interest. And if he wants to make it to his 8th birthday, he probably should eat. Being that I was late already, I send him off to school anyway with the promise that I would get there before lunch with something great to eat. And as I wished him happy birthday again, I hoped I really could get there by lunch. I could just see court going into the afternoon, and I felt like bad mom of the year as I pictured my poor kid going hungry at lunch on his birthday.

I made it to court and decided to leave all my belongings in the car. I didn’t need them, and they just end up going through all my things at the security check point. But then I thought about it. Court is full of criminals. And criminals would think nothing of grabbing my purse out of my car. And to get to that purse, they would probably smash the window. I figured I should probably take my purse with me. So I did.

I practically sprinted to the line waiting to be checked by security before heading into court. I had 5 minutes to get there. The line was 10 minutes long. I don’t think I’ve been more impatient. But eventually I made it. I handed them my purse, walked through the metal detector, and lifted my pant legs so they could see I held no food or water in my boots. I went to grab my purse, but the security girl was holding onto it. Now, my purse is pretty cute. But I was in a hurry. So I let her know that the purse was mine. She asked me if there were any electronic devices in it. I told her my cell phone was in there.

“No,” she said. “What else?” Oh crap! My camera! I told her so, and asked if I could keep it with her. She refused, stating that she could not be held responsible. I’d like to say that I smiled and said ok. I’d really like to say that. But that’s not what happened. Being that I was late, and I wanted to get on the court calendar early so I could leave in time for my son’s lunch, I was feeling the pressure. So I’m afriad to say I resorted to tears. A little bit. Ok, a lot bit. And I may have said “please” a couple twenty times. Now, if this girl were a guy, I would have had my camera under careful supervision and have been on my merry way. But unfortunately, girls are not so easily swayed by tears. I was directed to the nearest lockers to store my dangerous electronic device, otherwise known as a camera. And I had been planning to kill my ex-husband with pictures. Darn, thwarted again.

After 15 minutes of standing in line again, I finally made it back to security where one of the guards praised me for making it through. I mentally kicked him as he cheerfully thanked me for smiling as well. I got to court only to have to sit outside a locked door. I hoped my lawyer was already in there. But that hope was dashed as I saw her walking up after me 5 minutes later. Fortunately all this meant was that we missed the judge’s long winded speech on divorce and kids, and how we were all wasting the court’s time. I have only heard it a dozen times.

Luckily we came to an agreement quickly, allowing us to get in and out of there. I was back in my car a ½ hour later, rushing to the store to pick up my son’t lunch, and then to his class to drop it off.

“Hey! You’re L’s mom!” a little girl exclaimed. “Did you know it was his birthday?” she asked me.

“No, is it?” I asked, laughing. The teacher’s eyes were on me, and I suddenly felt sheepish for being a smart ass to a 1st grader. “That’s right, it’s his birthday,” I smiled. “He’s 7 years old today.”

“Wow!” the girl said, truly amazed. I realized I probably needed to get away from kids and everyone for awhile, and the perfect place to do that would be the ocean on this winter’s day. I quickly voted, grabbed a breakfast sandwich and a coffee along the way, and finally reached Salmon Creek to enjoy my food. And my food must have looked really good because a seagull immediately parked itself on my hood and stared at me. I waved it away. It just watched. I turned on the windshield wipers. It backed up a little, then moved even closer. I figured I’d just finish my food and then leave the car. But there was no way I was getting out before my food was done because that seagull looked dangerously hungry.

I finally finished my food. The seagull flew away. I got out safely and started putting on my coat just as three big busses full of kids pulled into the parking lot.

“You’ve got to be joking me,” I said to the sky. I took my jacket off and got back into my car. And though my time was limited, I drove further up the beach to find a secure and secluded spot where I could breathe for a second. And that is where I am now, writing all of this down as I stare out at a vast ocean that I swear has no end. And with each crash of the waves that send spray over the rocks, with each floating seagull that appear helpless and peaceful all at the same time on the rocking waves, with the outline where brown water meets blue, I can’t help but remember that the original beach I was at had a bathroom and this one does not. And while I’m alone, with the way things are going so far today I am confident that a hiker will find me just as I put myself in a compromising position. So here is where I stop so I can find some relief.

Send all birthday presents to winecountrymom.@winecountrymom.com.