She’s only 10. But my daughter and I have been at odds for the past few weeks as her attitude worsens and my patience thins. This week I have finally come to my end. I have stopped being lenient and understanding, and have started to crack down on her. And in her eyes I can see she feels I am being completely unfair. And I’ll admit, I’ve been stricter than is necessary at certain times, taking privileges away immediately when I used to give her a warning to change her tone. And more often than not I see her fighting back tears, trying to remain cool and unscathed by my parental idiocy.

Take this morning. I want her to eat breakfast. She isn’t hungry but she wants to play video games before her brother comes down and claims the console. I tell her she needs to eat breakfast before she is allowed to play. She says fine, she’ll eat a crumb. After dealing with her being a smart aleck and giving me attitude repeatedly, I take away her video games altogether for the day. She eats an apple and sulks.

Rolling eyes has become her favorite sport. She has stopped dressing remotely like a girl and has taken to wearing baggy sweatshirts and a skull cap over her long hair. She talks to me as if I couldn’t possibly know as much as she knows. And I know that this will only worsen as she gets into her teen years. But already she is too cool for me.

Adding to the mix, her younger brother, the one who is normally in trouble, has taken to being perfect. If she complains about dinner, he’ll tell me it’s delicious. If she’s fighting me on cleaning, he’ll pick up his things without any prompting. He sees me disciplining her, and he hugs me and tells me he loves me. He now listens the first time when I tell him to turn off the video games, get ready for bed, put his dishes in the sink, get ready to go….all the things I used to fight him about. As his mom, it’s a relief to have him minding. But if I were his sister, I’d want to beat his butt for being a brown-noser.

I was at lunch the other day with a friend, and he mentioned how funny parents can be when they throw curses at you, hoping you have a child just like you so you know what it’s like. I have been cursed with raising a mini me. The originality she tries to hold onto is non-existent. I gave my parents the very same grief that she is throwing at me. I knew more than them, much more, until I reached my mid twenties. Amazingly enough, I suddenly lost all that wisdom I once had. But for about 15 years, they couldn’t tell me white without me saying black.

My daughter gave me the silent treatment the rest of the morning. She suffered her brother’s kissing up to me silently. And we finished getting ready to leave the house for the day. And I watched her as she brushed her hair.

“I know I’ve been hard on you,” I said. She looked up and listened, remaining silent. “And I know your brother is being irritating by being super good while you’re getting in trouble.” She rolled her eyes and kept brushing her hair. “I just don’t like when you’re rude to me. And I want you to treat me like I’m your mom, not like I’m nothing.” I took the brush from her and helped her get a knot out of her hair. “And I love you. I hope you know that, I really love you.” She blinked rapidly, her eyes quickly brimming with tears. I let her hold onto them for a moment, and then relieved her from her embarrassment as her brother came up the stairs. “I love you man!” I crowed, grabbing her and giving her a million kisses on her cheek, laughing with her as her emotions stayed intact.

Eh, we’ll be ok. As much as I am frustrated by her teenage years coming early, I am lucky that I remember being in her shoes all too well. And I think I’d rather be in my shoes now, then go through what she must be going through. Good thing she has such a hip and cool mom.

Email me at winecountymom@winecountrymom.com